Friday, September 01, 2006

I Shall Not Die

After doing a little research I am formally announcing to the world that I am not going to die - I shall stay here until the Lord returns. How did I come to this conclusion? I've been reading The Gospel According to Ken and The Gospel According to Jesse.

The Gospel According to Ken tells me "Paul lived to be an old man and then said that he could not decide whether to stay here or to go be with the Lord (Philippians 1:22-24). He needed to stay here for the Church's sake, but he yearned to go be with Jesus. He did not leave this world until he and the Lord were ready. This is not the description of a man who lived with sickness and disease." (Kenneth Copeland website)

The Gospel According to Jesse tells me "Jesus was His own Man and He controlled His destiny and He reached His destination. Well, when I read that I said 'Well, can I control my destiny and reach my destination?' The Lord said 'Be ye therefore imitators of God as dear children.' Whatever Jesus can do, you can do. In fact, you can do greater works....They couldn't kill the apostle Paul until he was ready. They couldn't kill Peter until he was ready. He determined when." (Jesse Duplantis Program: What is Christianity? Part 1, Week of June 23-29, 2002: no longer posted on website, but Scripture never changes.)

Jesse also tells me "If you want to die, the only way you can is with your own mouth, because death and life is in the power of your tongue, not cancer or diabetes or high blood pressure or crippling arthritis - ready? - or even age....He said death and life's in the power of the tongue. End of statement." (Jesse Duplantis on Kenneth Copeland's show, 5/1/95)

Therefore, based on these two gospels, I am telling the world that I shall not [cough] d.......

1 Comments:

At September 02, 2006 2:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wonder if any of these guys have ever looked into the eyes of a widow and told her "Your husband WANTED to die of cancer."

I'm sure all those folks that died at the world trade center went to work that morning saying "Yes, this would be a fine day to be crushed beneath a burning pile of rubble."

 

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